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DanaG · Guru

RE: Back on track

dinkidi · Guru

Welcome back Aussie Jo, glad you had a good time away

Belle · Guru

Welcome back aussiejoe....are you okay now?

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

No I am not ok now. My Son's Birthday (today), Mothers Day, my Birthday and the day my Son died are within two and a half months of each other. What more of a price can a mother bear.....I am sorry if I come across in the wrong manner, I don't mean to.. I am hurting soooo much right now. All I can think about is the day my son was born and the beautiful little baby I looked at and the day I saw my son for the last time, so peaceful. I guess I should really just stay off-line. I don't want to upset anyone.

Belle · Guru

No Aussiejo it's good for you to come on line and share this with us. As a mother I can well imagine what your going through so you can pour your heart out if you like. You will only get support from us here on the forum.

DanaG · Guru

Aj belle is right. if we can let us help u through it. smile

dinkidi · Guru

Aussie Jo it's ok, tell us what you need to or not, but either way we can help you through this horrid time, we cannot know what you are dealing with, but most of us are mothers so can have some idea.

((((Hugs))))) we are thinking of you wish those hugs would get to you directly

khloekobe · Guru

We are here to help each other, AJ.. Tell us what we can do to make you feel ok..

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

You are all wonderful people. Thankyou for all your support. I am having a better day today but unfortunately no-one can do anything to make me happy when I have the anniversaries I don't look forward to. My older daughters went to Adelaide and celebrated my son's birthday with their Father and all my Grandchildren. I didn't even get a message or phone call from them to see if I was ok. That hurt me more than they realise. I know my Son would want me to be happy but it is impossible just yet. He hasn't even been gone 2 years. Some days it feels like he isn't gone at all and other days feel like I have just received the phone call. My loss is still very raw and sad. I do know though that one day I will be able to deal with the anniversaries with a smile on my face instead of tears.

Belle · Guru

Yes you will smile eventually but it's okay to cry and it sounds like your family aren't treating you very well either. Thanks for sharing this with us smile

DanaG · Guru

Thanks for sharing with us how you feel AJ. I have a child with a medical condition and it is very hard to see him so sick at times. I really feel for you, I am sorry that your family are not talking to you at present. Please tell us if there is something that we can do to help you through this hard time.

(((((hugs))))))

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

I don't think my girls meant to do what they did. We all deal with grief and loss in our own way. On a happier note I am hoping for a loss when I stand on the scales tomorrow. My first weigh-in since before our camping trip. My clothes say I lost so here's hoping. I am not expecting a massive reduction though because I haven't exactly been a diet angel these past couple of weeks but, anything is better than nothing..

Belle · Guru

Yes that's true we do all deal with our grief in different ways. Good luck with your weigh in. Can't wait to hear your results:)

DanaG · Guru

Good Luck AJ let us know how you do hon.

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

Hey Dana. Thankyou, you are doing so much by just being there. I am not sure what type of medical condition your little one has but I hope it is one that can be beaten or not too painful to live with if it is not treatable. It is hard to see those we love hurting. Hugs are very special and help with so much so here are some for you to share with your little one

HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS

DanaG · Guru

Thanks AJ I am happy that I can help you feel a little better. James is 7 and always gets uti's so he gets hospitalised a little bit.

*****hugs*****

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

How do I put a photo up. I came across a photo of my Son and I that I love and wanted to share it.

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

It is ok. As you can see I worked it out.

DanaG · Guru

AJ you have a very nice pic of you and your husband wink

marga · Guru

@ dana: cranberry juice is very helpful in treating UTI. there is also a tablet but since James is too young to take tablets, juice is a better choice. and i think AJ was with her son in the picture.

@ aussie jo: today, april 29, marks the 18th death anniversary of my dad. he died due to heart and intestine complications in 1993. i miss him, of course, but as years went by, tears became smiles as i know he is watching over and guiding us. so smile, your son would be sad if he sees you crying. (((hugs)))

DanaG · Guru

marga wrote:
@ dana: cranberry juice is very helpful in treating UTI. there is also a tablet but since James is too young to take tablets, juice is a better choice. and i think AJ was with her son in the picture.
@ aussie jo: today, april 29, marks the 18th death anniversary of my dad. he died due to heart and intestine complications in 1993. i miss him, of course, but as years went by, tears became smiles as i know he is watching over and guiding us. so smile, your son would be sad if he sees you crying. (((hugs)))

Marga, thanks for suggestion it. James's uti's are because his bladder doesn't work well. We have tried a lot of drugs and cranberry juice and none of them worked. We are now taking his colostomy bag away to see if that settles the bladder down.

dinkidi · Guru

Dana, that's Aussie Jo's son, not her husband.

Congrats to you too Aussie Jo on becoming a Sticky Thread so fast!

Belle · Guru

DanaG wrote:
AJ you have a very nice pic of you and your husband

It's AJs son not her husband:)

Belle · Guru

DanaG wrote:
marga wrote:
@ dana: cranberry juice is very helpful in treating UTI. there is also a tablet but since James is too young to take tablets, juice is a better choice. and i think AJ was with her son in the picture.
@ aussie jo: today, april 29, marks the 18th death anniversary of my dad. he died due to heart and intestine complications in 1993. i miss him, of course, but as years went by, tears became smiles as i know he is watching over and guiding us. so smile, your son would be sad if he sees you crying. (((hugs)))
Marga, thanks for suggestion it. James's uti's are because his bladder doesn't work well. We have tried a lot of drugs and cranberry juice and none of them worked. We are now taking his colostomy bag away to see if that settles the bladder down.

Wow I didn't realise that Marga was a Dr. LOL

DanaG · Guru

oh no I am sorry AJ.

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

Hey Dana. Don't be sorry. You put a smile on my face. biggrin The photo was taken on my Son's wedding day, 5 days after he turned 21. I was 40 at the time. I am going to take it that I looked closer to John's age than John looked closer to mine..LOL LOL... smile

Belle · Guru

You were a young Mum AJ maybe that's why Dana thought your son was your husband. I had Natasha when I was 29:)

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

Dana. Is there a medical name for your Son's bladder problems and apart from getting UTI's is there any other issues. I ask because my middle daughter had urinary problems for many years. This basically amounted to her wetting the bed right through to age 12. She wet so badly that her douna would be soaked, pretty mean effort for a girl considering the douna is on top of her not under. We found out that she had kidney reflux. Her little trap door to her kidneys wouldn't close thus her urine would basically go back up the tract and she would get infections, it also meant she didn't empty her bladder fully. She also had thick bladder walls, an irritable bladder and her spincter muscle was very weak. She didn't get the feeling to go to the toilet until she was on the verge of wetting herself and because her spincter muscle was not contracting as it should she couldn't stop the flow.

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

How did I become a Sticky thread and what is it?? confuse

Belle · Guru

Don't know and don't know. I think dinkidi is the expert on that.

DanaG · Guru

LOL your son looks very hansome AJ

DanaG · Guru

Aussie Jo wrote:
Dana. Is there a medical name for your Son's bladder problems and apart from getting UTI's is there any other issues. I ask because my middle daughter had urinary problems for many years. This basically amounted to her wetting the bed right through to age 12. She wet so badly that her douna would be soaked, pretty mean effort for a girl considering the douna is on top of her not under. We found out that she had kidney reflux. Her little trap door to her kidneys wouldn't close thus her urine would basically go back up the tract and she would get infections, it also meant she didn't empty her bladder fully. She also had thick bladder walls, an irritable bladder and her spincter muscle was very weak. She didn't get the feeling to go to the toilet until she was on the verge of wetting herself and because her spincter muscle was not contracting as it should she couldn't stop the flow.

I am sorry to hear that your daughter had kidney reflux and bad uti's I can completely understand how you would feel AJ I am in the same boat. I don't like to mention his condition to many ppl as its hard to explain his condition and its to sad for me to keep talking about. James has Vater Sydrome. I did explain what was happening to Belle a few days ago and she was really good and suggested a few things. James is going to have his Colostomy Bag removed in a few days to see if that settles everything down again.

AJ, thanks for explaining to me about what happened to your daughter. Maybe one day I will be able to share what happened to James on the board, I just can't yet because its just to sad for me to express.

-- Edited by DanaG on Monday 2nd of May 2011 02:37:30 PM

-- Edited by DanaG on Monday 2nd of May 2011 02:39:10 PM

dinkidi · Guru

Aussie Jo, you became sticky because your thread is often looked at and posted on, the moderators do it, I just wish they'd tidy up the old threads now though !

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

Takes after his Mum lol

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

Hey Dana, Understand fully. Be strong.. I am sure James has your strength also..Hope all goes well..

khloekobe · Guru

DanaG wrote:
LOL your son looks very hansome AJ

I agree with you, Dana.. :)

@aj: Your son is so handsome.. :)

DanaG · Guru

Thanks AJ and Khloe smile

marga · Guru

Belle wrote:

Wow I didn't realise that Marga was a Dr. LOL

@ belle: didn't realise it either..lol!

@ danag: sorry to hear that. i will pray for James to get better.

DanaG · Guru

marga wrote:
Belle wrote:

Wow I didn't realise that Marga was a Dr. LOL

@ belle: didn't realise it either..lol!
@ danag: sorry to hear that. i will pray for James to get better.

Thanks Marga, I am hoping and praying he will get better.

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

aaarghhh. Gained in the 3 weeks I haven't weighed in (1.5kg in total). Knew I did. Holidays and stress are really fun times to lose weight aren't they. Put in some extra personal stress and wammo, on go the kilos. Weighed in at 76kg last Saturday. Weighed in today (Saturday 07/05/11) and have lost 600gms of the 1.5kg I put on. So glad. I have had some pretty crappy days and adding kgs is not a positive, just adds to the negatives.

DanaG · Guru

(((((AJ)))) i am sorry to hear that. I am sure that you will loose it again in no time. Just try and relax as much as you can, I hear that it destresses you. Its 5.50 pm and i am in the mater with james and I feel like crap.

-- Edited by DanaG on Saturday 7th of May 2011 05:50:28 PM

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

Thanks Dana. I am not stressed about gaining cause I sort of knew I would. I hope all goes well with james. I am thinking of you as I am sure are your family and friends. xxoo

Aussie Jo · Veteran Member

Just read a quote on my friends facebook page that I like.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"

Belle · Guru

Aussie Jo wrote:
Just read a quote on my friends facebook page that I like.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"

pfffttt sometimes we need a break from being strong. I for one sure do smile

DanaG · Guru

Thanks AJ. James came home late arvo so am really tired so am going to bed in a few.

khloekobe · Guru

Take time to rest, Dana.. You might get sick if you are always tired.. I'm sure James will be ok.. :)

Belle · Guru

Haven't heard anything from Dana I hope she's okay.

dinkidi · Guru

Hmmmm it has been a couple of days

khloekobe · Guru

I hope she's ok, too.. Hope to hear from you soon, Dana..

DanaG · Guru

Hi Guys, smile

Hows things going? I hope that everyone had a great mothers day. I was in the hospital till sunday arvo and then took some time to relax and just spend time with the kids. I am sorry that I haven't been on for a few days. Since James has been home again, he has been in pain. I am glad that everyone is ok.